This is so important because in the process of a dialog or conversation, listening is not truly an observable behavior. They lean forward, and nod their heads.” And I then ask, “What is the acid test that real listening actually occurred?” Very few people easily answered this, yet the answer is fairly simple: You know people have listened to you if they can demonstrate they heard. In my workshops, I often ask, “Is listening an observable behavior?” Easily more than 95 percent of the people answer, “Yes.” Then I ask, “What does listening look like?” Common answers are: “People have wide, open eyes and maintain eye contact. You have probably been in conversations where a lot of people are talking, and you wonder if a message or information is actually being heard and received.
#Thank you for listening no questions full#
And I mean listening for full meaning of the speaker’s message. Learning to pay attention starts with a profoundly simple behavior-listening! It’s a simple idea in short supply in many settings. You can see that both people are responsible for the outcome. However, it is somewhat fragile when you consider all the elements and realize that if even one of the elements is missing, effective communication will not occur. This definition is elegant in its simplicity. But what does that mean? What are the essential parts of being a great listener?įor years, I have used a simple definition for effective communication: When a sender sends information to an intended receiver, and the intended receiver hears and understands the information in the way the sender intended. What two or three questions or personality traits in those successful individuals do you believe most contributed to their success? The most common answer to this question is: They are great listeners. Think of one or two very successful (in business and life) individuals you’ve witnessed/ admired in your career. It is also quite critical to accomplishing tasks with other individuals-it’s crucial for effective collaboration. Basic, focused connection is critical to successful, respectful relationships. Two people were talking, some information might have been exchanged, but they were not really communicating- not really connecting. I bet you can think of times when the conversation clearly felt or looked out of sync. Think about interactions you have had in the recent past with any number of people or even some you’ve witnessed. So instead of admitting I was tuning you out, I’m going to make up a lame response to woefully cover my tracks.” I have no idea what you were saying, because it really is not that important to me. I’ll get back to you later.” What everyone else in the room hears him say: “I was thinking about lunch and whether I should clean my garage this weekend. Or maybe you’ve sat through a two-hour meeting, and then the boss turns to the person next to you and asks the dreaded question, “So what do you think?” If the guy was passively listening, sweat will begin to glisten on his brow, and he might stutter something like, “Well…I, uh…don’t know. So the only logical thing for him to say is something like, “Could you say that again?” Of course, at this point he’s doomed. He was hearing her talk, but he had not truly listened and absorbed what she said. For example, a husband may nod his head and say affirming words while his wife is talking, but when she stops talking and he looks at her face, her expression says, “I just asked you a question and I am waiting for an answer.” The husband hits rewind on his internal tape to try to remember what his wife just said twenty seconds prior. Determining the difference is often a challenge in marriages. There is a difference between hearing someone speak and listening to someone speak. The best way to get into someone else’s frame of reference is to listen. You must try to climb into the person’s head and experience the world as he or she does.
You have to understand the elements of the other person, how the person ticks. This includes understanding the person’s values, experience, knowledge, and emotion. To truly “seek to understand” someone, you have to slip into that person’s frame of reference.
0 kommentar(er)
